Dereje Amera Personal Posts

One plus One

Posted on: 22 Aug 2017

August 22, 2017

I had conversation with someone who got married to a person whom she was dating for few years, but she was very much disappointed after she got married to the person. She said, he was totally and dramatically changed after the marriage. He is not the person I know any more. I asked her, what happened, she said, I do not know. And I further asked, what if you have changed or you are the cause for his change in behavior, she did not have further answer.

It is quite interesting to observe in life that what most people think outside marriage and when they are In it, is very different that make many other people to question married life and they have no appreciation and respect for marriage in these very days due the fact that what people show up in early days of marriage and as time goes by are quite different and even contradictory. When people get married, others ask, you better tell me after 10 years, not now, since most people are found in different shape and form due to the fact that things change in their given life.

Someone wrote that not all relationships are meant to last forever. Sometimes a couple sticks it out all the way to the altar. They might make it work for a few years. Maybe they will even have children. But sooner or later, to nobody’s surprise, they find themselves in front of a judge, begging for a divorce. By that time, each party is angrily declaring, I never should have married you!

Most people point fingers on others on the failures that visit their life since this is one of the child psycho make up of most people due to the fact they do not admit their own mistakes and failures, but they blame the other party for the cause of their given failures without realizing their give contribution to such failures. They say the dead is equally responsible to the crime committed by the killer since the killer could not kill the dead without provoking him.

Accordingly one has one’s own observation and view regarding peoples experience in relation to their married life in which there are people who shared positive experiences in such life, and to the contrary, there are also people whose life has been destructed and destroyed by such way life, which is mainly dependent upon on how they handle and manage such way of life. This happens for real since many people have varied experience of such life.

Philosophically, as Aristotle said, get married and have life, if not, be a philosopher. Accordingly one come up with simple rational and observation on how such people view such life based on their given personal experiences of life in which all people want to achieve something productive in life and they use the institution of marriage as an engine that enable them succeed in their given life so that they can have better life. There is no bad in it, unfortunately all people do not have similar experiences and practices too.

There are people who think that marriage is like one plus one is equal to three; others think, marriage is like one plus one is equal to two; other claim that one plus one is equal to one; others say that one plus one is equal to zero; others say that it is like one plus one is equal to negative one. In all scenarios of such simple mathematical formula, there is a reality and truth that is going in this world since all of them are practical experience and exposures of people’s life on the earth.

In fact, there are many millions of people who exist between 2 and 3. This is what they call the theory of infinity in which there are plenty of numbers that exist between 2 and 3 due to the decimal factor in which each and every decimal number that exist between 2 and 3 do refer to one given individual personal experience; any given person could be found as 2.5 than 3 since every number tells something. The seven billion people of the world population can be found between or referring one decimal number since everyone has different experience. As careful reference and analysis is done, in every number, there is meaning and deliberation. Accordingly, there are people that exist between the synergy effect of 3 and normal combination of the fusion that result as 2, such as 2.1, 2.5 and the like.

When people say, married life is like on plus one is equal to three, there is another dynamics and reality that is borne and comes out as result of such fusion of both sexes In which the thinking, feeling, emotions and behaviors of such sexes create a synergetic effect on the bond they create and they happen to create a dynamic cause that make generation and life continue.

When people say, married life is like one plus one is equal two, they do not see much difference in such life but they have sort out something different than the way their single life is and they do not have that much meaning in life except sharing few things in life, that is better than being by oneself, which do not make the appreciate as those people who come about as one plus one is three since their life is more of mechanical than any other thing.

Others say that married life is equal one plus one is equal to one, here, both parties do not see anything changed than the way their single life is and the contribution and share one party has on the other is insignificant and less, they prefer to live by their own than look for someone to come and visit their life since the contribution and share of the other party is immaterial and one party has no impact on the other and life becomes comatose in here.

Others say that married life is like one plus one is equal to zero. These kinds of people are those people who are damaged and affected by the married life due to their failure in choosing their marriage partner and they have failed to the extent that such marriage consequence make them lose their personality and reality as they were before marriage and they have been badly affected and hurt by such life which is to the extent of losing their identity as they were in single life. They do not take further action and they just live by their own losing their original identity too.

What is quite scary in here is that when one plus one is equal to negative one in which the consequences of such married life could come about with result of further negative results in which one party could look for the destruction and removal of the other party which do make both parties to waste their energy and time for killing and demolition of the other party. In this case, both parties waste their resources for the bad and negative of others in which they blame such life as one of the largest hot pepper farms in the world. They also say married life is like holding hot iron in one’s armpit.

Whatever interpretations and understanding is delivered, whatever kinds of people experience is there, people continue marrying other people since it is not only a choice people make but also natural duty which people should perform. To have married life, in one aspect, is better than to be single, but to have married life with intolerable and un-reconcilable differences and gap is no better than to have a single life. Here, people make the difference.

Few people marry so that the off springs they come about will mention the name of God, but, unfortunately, the offspring’s they come about are found mentioning the name of Tom Cruise, Beyoncé and the like. Most get married in religious vows and ceremonials, but they finally end up in divorce. Where is this world heading? What shall be done?

The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

Ann Landers



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