Why People Quarrel

July 12, 2013

I was asking myself in one of the days, in which I was contemplating on the many features and phases of life, everyone is passing, especially in the peoples external or what the politicians call foreign policy, and come up with thinking that why do people create negative relationship with others. This could have many answers depending on the context and type of relationship people establish with others. Hence, most people employ protectionism approach in life than going out or being open, supportive or whatever good things to others and they establish their own style and pattern in life.

This is universal. Suspicion is the king in every society, and trust lives under water and earth since people become tired of many things in life and such style come to their reality due to the fact they are at least betrayed once by other people, society, and institutions on the earth. This world is economy centered world in which scarcity is the drama behind agenda, which is also entertained in the table, but greed is the factor what people forget to think about. Greed speaks in every tongue, but what varies in here is the color of the greed.

Underling such factors as one point, it sounds that conflict between individuals, institutions, and societies is becoming nature of the world, which should be reversed by agreement and unity when enough will and determination is applied by people, societies and institutions. When division among people, societies and institutions come, this should be the cause for stronger unity to be addressed to the future, by sorting out the root causes of problems and delivering everlasting and sound solution to the future so that prospect of individuals, societies and nation should be preserved.

When conflict and quarrel between people come to place, it tells two things. The first one, if it is possible, to solve it and make it better; if not, there is one thing to learn, which is to create an accommodating environment which is tolerable and understandable, with the intention of appreciating diversity and difference. Diversity does not only mean in color, race, ethnicity, but also thinking and visions. Certain society could deviate from a given communality due to the fact that it thinks different, and when such thinking is not acceptable by the norm, it could be rejected. In this case, this society can form its own island. This island should be accepted since freedom is the natural quest and reflection of integrity.

One of the basic reasons why people quarrel is personal advantage and interest in which when there is conflict of interest and desire and goals and ambitions, they quarrel. There are people who have quarrels in terms of give and take relationship, in which when one wants to take personal advantage over other, here conflict arise. The other reason is between ambitions in which when a given person has an ambition contrary to other person, here, they cannot interact and communicate, but could have fight since their ambition is not in agreement.

There are also people who fight not only in ambitions, but also with strategies even if they have same ambition and goals and objective, they could not agree with strategies. Ego is the factor, in which the desire to be listened and respected is one factor. The feeling and thinking that I am better than you is another aspect. When people want to achieve in certain mission, it should give equal credits to all who want to achieve than put few individuals as lion and others as barking dogs. As far as the point or end goal is the same, when people fight with strategies, there are many other factors that should be considered amongst them, is the strategy cost effective or not, compatible with the goal or not, for longer period or not, in which time is factor.

The other basic reason or the most obvious ones is type of political relationship which people have in which when certain nation has political reason not to talk or interact with others, and such given people do not like others due to the fact that their nationalistic feeling and thinking dominate their interpersonal factors. For example, in case of Ethiopia and Eritrea, there are citizens of both nations, who quarrel without knowing each other, interacting and the like, they quarrel since the political factor dominate their interpersonal actions and reactions.

There are also nations of same citizen in here and outside, they quarrel and have conflict due to political reasons. Such given aspects have deep rooted complications and many years of back history and at this point, it reached to its climax. This has many possible reasons beside historical and cultural and political factors. Although many trials have been undergone in past, it was not possible due to the fact that such excuses enlarge the bad conditions to date. The first responsible factors are political ones in which politicians are responsible; the second and major actors here are religions and religious leaders. Both are accountable and responsible, although they point fingers on others. They were supposed to remove such difficulties.

When such conditions get to worse in any given community, any society has to be wise. It should create its own dynamism in better and greater magnitude than the politicians and the religions matter in way that respect, tolerance, understanding and magnanimity are reflected. This can happen in way that such given society creates its own core people by creating its own rules and policies, neither political nor religious, and forget the politics at upper hand and whatever or any religious drama, but it should have its own aspect in way that future is the main agenda, resolving current conflict is the major theater it should play. This is not to create disturbance, but to create responsible and accountable citizens to the future.

This can be introduced by few people who understand the danger and realize the future consequences of such aspects between people and as far as such concern is there, victory is always assured. Most people fight here due to the fact they like to be respected and they have strong desire and feelings of nationalistic thinking and feeling, but in reality such strong feeling and thinking of nationalistic—it is true and genuine—should be reflected in respecting others and being tolerable to other people thinking and feeling about same objective. Most fanatic people in such realm are the cowardice ones when the real danger is come and they do not cooperate since they reflect their egoistic thinking and personality than common concern.

The other possible reason on why people quarrel with others is when people want to side others in which they do not know each other, but there could be some kind of conflict between people, they want to favor one side, such favoring has no any particular personal interest and advantage it brings about on others, but with the intention of supporting one side since they like one party, people quarrel without knowing each other. This is unacceptable and wrong since people lack confidence in what they are doing and thinking.

When people try to be helpful and supportive of another person, be it neighbor, workmate, a person one who meet in taxi, and every place, irrespective of religious or political drama, change will come. When both agendas are there, people continue fighting with eachother since both are the primal cause and factors for divisions although they preach us about unity. Most trails have failed in past, since such formation and motive was not pure intent since they were already poisoned by political or religious drama.


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