August 27, 2011
One of the most interesting and peculiar characteristics of human beings from the rest of creation in this world is their perception and degree of articulation towards life on the earth. Hence, it is mandatory to think and realize that human being is more than social animal, in which their thinking, behavior and applications towards life on the earth make them an excellent addition and beauty to this world too.
As this drama and theatrical events are on the stage, there are both good and bad features that colorfully decorates this earth. And one of the most distinguishing element and factor in which such world has discovered in the human element is the institution of Marriage. Marriage has been institutionalized by human beings for past centuries and ages. It is institution since it has its own social and cultural prerequisite and conditions.
As it is institutionalized, many people have the right to stay in it, or reject the claims made by such given societies or institution, in which it is not mandatory element for life on the earth. To get married is not obligatory as divorce is also another option when one cannot live with a person whom one has already married due to many reasons. To divorce is an option and look for other option is becoming a norm in these days too.
Most researches on marriage indicate that the survival factor for any given marriage mostly goes to the wives since they have strong element such as tolerance and understanding than men who go for rush actions and decisions. Practically, as part of personal observation, most men are still having dictatorial tones and trend in their communications towards the women they got married, whether they are educated or not. In other words, they are not polite or whatever too.
One of the contribution factor for such styles or fashions of life in marriage is the cultural or belief dynamics of any given society or community in which women are designed to submit their freedom and rights to men culturally and the like, which made them submissive in many aspects. The other is economic freedom in which men could take the balance in this regard. The other is lack of democracy in many aspects in the social dynamics in which political administration and how a given state functions matter to the rights and freedom of any given society besides the given family and community dynamics in this regard.
Many people prefer divorce as better option than living with a person one cannot stand and more due to the fact that when their expectation before and after marriage could not go in a way they already visualized in their minds. The first major factor is the power of imagination in which imagination is the one that creates certain expectation in one’s being. When a person is married to a pretty woman, one could expect her not to go the wash or toilet room. Meaning, they have an illusory expectations beyond natural factors. In this case, life becomes so hard to stand it.
The other reason is problem solving capacity of individuals before marriage. Those who have enough skill and adequate social skill in life are more skillful and they stay in their marriage than those who are and do not possess such skills since they are careful, in selecting their partner and they know how to live with such a person. Otherwise they could not be involved in such field of life. They do not take marriage as NGO in which they use it to help or obtain help from others. They are not corrupt in this regard to.
When individuals posses enough skill in problem solving in which they do not exaggerate or do not try to complicate simple matters as if they are sent from alien world, they are successful in many aspects. There are people who try to exaggerate everything in which certain matter hits them; they consult everything with other people. Instead of solving those confidential matters by themselves, they take it everywhere and at last they are found in the middle of trap, hard to get out, under the name or cover of consultation which is not even wiser or a right solution.
There are matters that require personal decisions; there are matters that require others help. Identifying such matters in which, which ones to go to other people, which ones are not to be shared, what to share to whom, when to share and what, who, is by itself a skill and a capacity in which this requires capabilities and capacities so that when solutions are derived they do not have possible backfires and worse problems they can bring about as matter of such deliberations. For example, if the husband is very private person and the wife wants to socialize, they have here enough spaces to accommodate in this regard in which the wife could take more spaces the husband does not need. As far as they consult and agree on such subjects, this is not even an issue or a problem at all for I knew couples who live with such life style peacefully for years.
Many complications in marriages do arise as result of hidden dramas or secretive personality of individuals in which people change as result of the marriage that takes place. This is indeed scary and dangerous. They change in behavior and thinking since they have secretive personality or they expect much thing in the marriage thing as they have presumed this to be. Most women are rumored to be the one that does this than men, though most men are also rumored. Both have one great factor, when they seek material benefit or other different advantage out of the marriage thing, they do that. When they have no love or regard, but seek for advantage, such things do happen.
It is quite noteworthy to mention the holistic aspect of marriage in which many people get married and have holistic life on the earth. They are congratulated in this aspect of life. This is awesome. It is indeed one of productive approaches and ways to life on the earth. By looking at this, one can come to definitive conclusion it is quite necessary aspect of life on the earth as institutionalized by societies and communities. This is indeed nice. It deserves respect and reverence. The point here is the selection process. The point here is on the choice of the partner, which is personal and too private matter. None has he right to decide on the choice of the partner to any given person for such aspects of life is not a gamble or casino in Vegas.