January 5, 2010
Marriage is an institution that requires a matured mindset, whose interaction with those involved as members of this sacred institution. It is a place where one could ably obtain a perspective and a dimension towards life on the earth. This is a conceptual understanding and framework one can have from reading other works and accepting their understanding as legitimate view.
Practically speaking as there are many people who stay on the earth being couples and married, the trend we have in our current world sounds scary and frustrating and is not a kind of example to others, and prefer to stay outside than take the risk and have married life due to the trend those who get married and divorced are demonstrating.
Why do many people get divorce is an interesting aspect of our life on the earth in which few tend to consider MARRIAGE as a place for looking economic and financial shelter than meeting social obligation and achieving a purpose in life?
In a very fact marriage is a sacred and holistic approach towards life on the earth. It gives a perspective and a dimension and a purpose in life. It is a sacred duty and responsibility indeed.
However, one could say it is becoming like commercial. It is becoming a place for gambling, not in all cases. That is why divorce is considered as normal thing to decide. This does not include and mean that there are people who should divorce because of beyond reasons and as best option.
Basically one of the reasons could be, I understand, lack of understanding of human reality—we have four different natures and lack of compatibility—like physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual factors to consider. Although LOVE is considered as the balance, these factors could have an impetus to it.
As I heard from those who had an experience of it, few are heard considering marriage as holding hot iron in one’s arm-pit; others referring it as big pepper farm; and others referring it as nice mansion; others refer to as best shelter.
Whatever experience people could have, there are three types of married people. Ones are those who are happy and with family they have established; the others are those who are not content and happy with the marriage thing; the others are those who live in the between lives of the two, confused and frustrated.
The crux for such dissatisfaction here is expectations that could lead to change in character and thinking after the melting point-wedding. Some consider that what their parents told and what is happening practically are different; others could observe dramatic shift in thinking and character; others could face a decrease in financial conditions and could not resist that; others might face other situations.
Marriage is a form created out of an IDEA—it is an institution; It is a tool that helps to carry forward ever advancing civilization and the like—in which this could be considered as Beautiful Matter.
IDEA is good. When IDEA gets shape—FORM—some get beauty; others get ugly shape—but both are jails. Jail means here living with limits—rights and freedoms. Some jails are beautiful. Other jails could be ugly.
There was one guy who writes and puts the name Guantanamo Bay under cell-phone number of his wife on his cell-phone, who face a court case for divorce, for she writes and puts very nice name under his name on her cell-phone. The story goes like, he named his wife’s cell number as Guantanamo bay while she called him. One day, he forget his cell phone at home. His wife found out the phone and she decide to check on what he wrote in place of her number calling, and she came to realize that she was considered as prison house, Guantanamo bay under his given experience of life with him. She was annoyed and put the case to the court later on.
Misunderstanding is one of the biggest challenges in such aspects of life. Misunderstanding arises due to priorities in which what is priority for a husband is less important to the wife. It is like, men are from Mars, but women from Venus.
I remember a kind of joke I heard in my place, in which some one visited most married couples and observed one thing, he found freezer in every house,from small house to big houses, they have one thing in common is freezer. Then he asked all, why did you buy freezer, it was the wives who answer, not the husbands and he asked the wives, what do you do when you are angry with any thing, all the wives answer, prefer to drink cold water.